If you've never been to a party at The Flagship in Atlantic City? You have missed a few things.You have missed some fine looking people that do great things. You have missed these young Black , Asian, Latino, White, people that are going places, dressed as sharp as 6 on the face of any clock. If you have never attended a party, at The Flagship Resort...right on AC's beach (especially in the spring before the heat covers Atlantic City like a lid...?) What you have missed most is the amazing view from outside on their deck.
The last party I attended at The Flagship was...THAT party that had every element of the things you loved.
The music, people, food, everything was as great as it sounds, looks, smells and taste on TV...I was dancing with my girlfriend of the time Viv. (Six feet of chocolate, girls basket ball player from Trenton State College.)Her dress was a mix of spring and after 11pm sparkles. And we danced every song...half way through a slow song....Roger's I Wanna Be Your Man....I saw her...Gwen....
Viv: Wooh....I need to run to the ladies room....meet me out on the deck and let's get some air.
I looked around and Gwen was no where to be found and so I assumed...hoped...it was just my imagination.
Outside on the deck...as I looked over the city and thought about a younger Gwen and younger me...and the places you go on dates when you are a few weeks into your first casino job. I thought about being young enough to WALK with Gwen up to the boardwalk on a Saturday and spend the summer night running in and out of stores and talking about ...whatever younger Gwen and I talked about then....
Gwen: You're still a thinker, and a dreamer, I see. I bet if I asked 10 other guys what they see right now...they would answer..."casinos."
Me: Gwen....?
Gwen: Yup...I thought I saw you dancing with that thick, tall girl in the glitter dress.
Me: I saw you dancing with the tall skinny, light skinned dude wearing dress shoes and no socks. That's what's really "Hot In Da Streets?"
We Laughed...
We Hugged..
We Leaned on the edge of the deck and looked straight ahead at the view....
Gwen: You wanna know where I went and what happened after us?
Me: Does it matter...?
Gwen: Damned if know. I did like you. You are a great person. And ...I am pretty sure I am glad you and I both came with dates tonight.
Me: Viv is special. I tell her that every day.
Gwen: Have you EVER...EVER been scared...?
Me: what...
Gwen: Have you ever woke up and been afraid to lose something. Just when you were about to move into a new house and you get a call it burned down...or better metaphore...Just as you get into a good piece of strawberry cheese cake, the kind so rich it tingles and the strawberries electrify every taste bud you have... and you finally except the calories that will go on your hips...just when you really start to enjoy it....you realize ...you've finished eating it?
Me: I told you about smoking that stuff Gwen.
Gwen: Sigh...for a thinker and dreamer you really don't get me....
Me. Yes....
Gwen: really....
Me: Of course I been scared I am a Black Man In America....I live every day knowing I am working 4 times as hard to get one third as much as the next guy....whether that be jobs or justice.
I just have to go on and act like it doesn't bother me and pretend all that stress won't give me a stroke or cancer...or....But ...Yes Gwen ...I get scared...I guess I get scared that I won't get my 30% when I need it the most...but once I got something....I do not get scared of losing it. Just not the way I'm built.
Gwen: You...scared me a lot. I never think anything's going to last forever. I never believe anyone is going to be around for ever. I remember thinking one day ....I wouldn't be able to think as deep as you do or dream as big as you do or...I just kept thinking that one Saturday night ...you'd be on the boardwalk enjoying that breeze and running in and out of games rooms to play Ms. Pac Man, and eating terrible boardwalk food, and talking about the smell of peanuts roasting and laughing at tourists and sneaking kisses with someone else. I got scared you would move on and wouldn't wanna do that stuff with me....
Me: Sigh...the most important part of everything thing you said was "with you." All that stuff was fun because you are you , Gwen and cause we did it together.
Gwen: And how many years ago was that?
Me: In real time maybe 6 years...in Atlantic City time it feels like it was 75 summers ago.
It's a beautiful night isn't Gwen....
Gwen: 75 summers....that's a good one. Yup it's a beautiful night.
Viv: Hey You. I got you a Sprite...shaken not stirred...
Viv grabbed my left arm and laid her head on my arm and we enjoyed the view. We talked about going to Mytle Beach on vacation.
Gwen walked back into the party and found her date I would guess.
I never saw her again and we haven't spoken since.
It's funny how things work in life...I find the reasons things fall apart to be even stranger.
Whenever I happen to be at the Flagship I walk out on to the deck and look at the view....and listen hoping I will hear Gwen's voice behind me.
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